Last Thursday I went snowboarding, as usual. Surprisingly, it was not a very good day. At the start of the day I was very tired, and I continued to be throughout the whole time I was boarding. I probably shouldn't have been snowboarding, because when you're tired you can't focus, and therefore you fall and get hurt. Anyway, I decided to go to my lesson in spite of my debility. I was learning rails. After trying the easiest one (which was a straight box, for those of you who ski/snowboard) a few times and not succeeding, I was totally worn out. But, I was NOT willing to quit! I also didn't want my instructors to consider me a wimp :P. So I tried again. Buuut... I was totally not ready for it and my toe side slipped off, causing me to fall forward and smash my shin REALLY hard! Deciding not to finish out my lesson, (for the sake of my safety and sanity) I headed down to the lodge with my instructor. I didn't really feel like snowboarding the rest of the day, and I only ended up going out a few more times. But still, I have to agree (for the most part) with this flair -
The nest day I had an appointment with a TMJ specialist. I think I've told most of you who read my blog about my TMJ, but in case there's someone who doesn't know what it is, it's where someone's (mine, obviously, in this case) jaw slips out of joint making the muscles have to strain, and causing a lot of pain in my jaw, neck, and head. It's been bothering me for several years now, and after trying 3 different physical therapists, the doctor recommended we see a specialist to tell us what we should do. I was hoping he would be able to recommend a definite fix, such as surgery, or wearing a brace for a certain amount of time, or something of the like. Physical therapists usually give you lots of exercises and rules that are very hard to keep up with. I wanted something easier. The specialist told me that my main problem is that I tighten my jaw up and am too stressed, which I have to agree. I'm very "type A" and tend to stress about everything. He said that really, all I needed to do, was learn to relax my jaw, along with some stretching and using heating pads to relax it. I was disappointed at first; I was hoping for something that wouldn't require a lot of work on my part. But, it's actually quite simple to maintain and it has made a lot of difference!!! I am SO thankful!
I have also been realizing how much I need to be trusting God. I am always putting unnecessary stress and pressure on myself because I don't trust God! He has been so gracious in teaching me about His love. I was struggling a lot in my spiritual walk - I was understanding God's holiness without understanding His grace and mercy. He is incredibly holy and righteous - we can't comprehend what it is to not sin. If it weren't for Christ's death, we would be doomed to the ultimate, unimaginable damnation. Jesus, however, took all of that on HIM. That is SOOOOO HUGE!!!!!! We are the one's who DESERVE every bad, horrible thing, every curse, everything awful. He was spotless, holy, and had never ever made a tiniest mistake. He had never NOT been in perfect communion with God. But yet, HE took the horror of the cross on himself. The awful physical death he endured wasn't nearly the worst of the cross though... the horror of it was the rejection He received from His father. Can you ever imagine how horrible it would be to hear God curse us, and reject us, and throw us out of His presence?! Now think... that was JESUS!! He endured something so awful, when He deserved the very best. WOOOWWW!! I can't stress this enough. Sometime you should listen to "The Cost of Not Following Christ" - a sermon by Paul Washer. It is SO good! If you want it you can ask me for it or look it up on Youtube. Anyway... back to the unimportant topic of me being stressed... ;) I has not been focused on God's forgiveness and loving kindness. I was afraid to make even the slightest mistake, and when I did I felt like dying. God reminded me, though, of all of His love, and that lifted a huge burden off of me. I have not been so stressed this week, and it has been wonderful!
There isn't much to report about the rest of this past week, it's been good though. I've been learning about weather in science and it's really cool! We've been studying clouds. I love it when my life is orderly, scheduled, and predictable. This week it has been exactly that, and I've loved it!
Oh, and another thing... I really beat my shin up that day snowboarding! It was swollen for a couple of days and had an enormous colorful, bruise. I've been doing everything possible to make it heal faster this week, and wow, it makes a difference! I've had small surface bruises that took just as long to heal. There's still a big bruise on my shin, but it's not nearly as big, and it's just a light one on the surface now. I'm glad, too, because I wouldn't want to go snowboarding tomorrow if it was still bad.
Over all I guess it's been kind of a painful week... I hurt my shin, I've been working on my jaw pain, (which, by the way, hurts more when you first start to relax it. It's been pretty painful this week but will get better, I hope.) and I've been learning spiritual lessons, which are always painful at first. But pain is not always a bad thing. Tomorrow I'm going snowboarding, and then I will be at snow camp from Fri.-Sun. That will be SO fun! God is so good to me!! Thanks for readin'! :)
