Oh my goodness! I haven't posted in a very long time! Silly ol' me. Life has been so busy this summer, and I've just gotten kind of lazy about it, I guess. I think it's time for a fresh start - in many ways.
The busyness of the summer has required me to suppress some emotional and spiritual issues for a long time, which caused them to enlarge under the surface. This week they finally emerged. My heart has been disquieted by numerous fears for far too long. Mainly, I've been afraid of rejection and not having control. Those fears fears which have so seized my heart have displayed themselves in many ways... I have been afraid of being ugly, not having enough talent and aptitude, being rejected by people who love me, not having a "likable" personality, etc. You get the point. Quite honestly, I haven't trusted in God's unfailing grace and have not allowed Him to keep me in perfect peace. Fixing my eyes on myself, I have forgotten what my life is all about. It's all about Jehovah, my Savior! He is my Rock, my Lover, my Friend, my Father, my Redeemer, and my Joy. He is my life! Oh, how foolish it is to worry about not being lovable; that's the whole point! If I could gain favor with God by my own works, there would be no gospel. Christ died for my sin, because I could never earn favor with God on my own. Additionally, if I could "earn" grace, it wouldn't be grace! I am nothing but a totally depraved sinner, and that is why the gospel is such good news. the Lord Jesus loves me - though I do not deserve even a smidgen of His love - and has given His life to save me! Since I never earned His love to begin with, I can never "un-earn" it by not being good enough. He took the penalty for my sin, and placed on me infinite value. I am now adopted by the infinite God of the galaxies, and I am a co-heir with Jesus Christ! What incredible news! Can I get an amen?!