Pain has purpose

"Man has a claim on God, a divine claim for any pain, want, disappointment, or misery that will help to make him what he ought to be. He has a claim to be punished, and to be spared not one pang that may urge him toward repentance; yea, he has a claim to be compelled to repent; to be hedged in on every side, to have one after another of the strong, sharp-toothed sheep dogs of the Great Shepherd sent after him, to thwart him in any desire, foil him in any plan, frustrate him in any hope, until he comes to see at length that nothing will ease his pain, nothing make life a thing worth having, but the presence of the living God within him; that nothing that nothing is good but the will of God; nothing noble enough for the desire of the heart of man but oneness with the eternal. For this God must make him yield his entire being, that He himself may enter in and dwell with Him."
~George MacDonald

CHRISTmas!

Okay, I have a lot to say, but I don't even know where to begin, or how to say it all.

I guess I'll start with Christmas. It was wonderful! On Christmas eve we had a nice supper together, and then played games. We had my friend, Vicki, and my neighbor, Zach, over and they added to all the fun! Right now my bedroom is torn apart because we're fixing it up some, so my bed was out in my oldest brother Erik's bedroom. So, I slept in his room. It was kind of a funny night... somehow the heat got turned off so it was FREEZING cold, and I kept having weird dreams and waking up (mostly because it was so cold!). Anyway, we all slept in on Christmas morning and that was actually really nice. I think this is the first year that I've slept in on Christmas. We all got up around 8:00 and sat around talking and such for a few minutes... then we all took our showers and got dressed. It was neat because it was just a nice, low-key day. We opened our stockings, and then had a nice breakfast. After breakfast we opened presents. It was a lot of fun... all of us just sitting around together, laughing, and enjoying ourselves. I got a couple of pairs of shoes which were really cool - one pair was neon pink and the other was neon green. :) I got two books - "Before You Meet Prince Charming" by Sarah Mally, and "Raising Maidens of Virtue" by Stacy McDonald. I've read both of those books before, but it's especially nice to own them. They are SUCH good books!! I would very highly recommend them to any young lady who wants to serve Christ. I also got a really nice handbag with music notes and Scripture about music on it. I love it!! We got some gifts that were for all of us - a bunch of Christian movies! We got Fireproof, Facing the Giants, Flywheel, and some others. I couldn't have gotten any better presents! I love my family so much. It was great to be with all of them for the past few days.

Now to tell you about all the WONDERFUL things God is doing in my life!! I don't know how to put it into words... He has totally changed me, and my view of life! A week or two ago, I was trying very hard to live righteously, but I didn't feel the passion and closeness of our Savior. I wasn't living completely for Him. I was tying, but I wasn't trying in HIS power, filled with HIS Holy Spirit. I just couldn't take that. I hadn't done anything the most people would consider a "big" sin, but I had strayed so, so far from where I needed (and still need!) to be. I got down on my knees and poured out my heart to God. I confessed everything I had done... all of my selfishness and pride, all of waywardness, everything. I prayed and begged God to reveal Himself to me, to give me a passion, to fill me with the Holy Spirit. That was my constant prayer for about a week. On Christmas day, He truly did show Himself to me. I can't explain it... I just had a total change in my understanding of Him. These past few days I have just CRAVED Him. It's wonderful!! I have been reading the two books I got for Christmas, another book called Stepping Heavenward, and of course, the Bible! It's wonderful. God is teaching me so, so, SO much about how I am to live. Please, please pray for me. I don't want to lose this passion. God is doing marvelous things in my life. He is SO INFINITELY GOOD! Praise Him!!

"I cried unto God with my voice, even unto God with my voice, and He gave ear unto me." Psalms 77:1

"I will sing of the mercies of the Lord forever; with my mouth will I make known they faithfulness to all generations." Psalm 89:1

Lessons...

Today I just have a thought to tell you about what God is teaching me. I have been learning to let go of things. I have a real tendency to be angry about things... which leads to bitterness. I used to just get depressed when bad things happened, but recently I've started getting angry. I've been watching a series of sermons on DVD by Paul Tripp called, "How to Be Good and Angry," and it has really been good for me. I realized that the reason people get angry is that we make our normal desires into demands. God has given us desires... that's completely normal and good. The problem is when a desire becomes a demand. We HAVE to control our desires! We all have a sin nature, and our desires can very easily take control of us. The human heart is an idol factory. We have to keep laying our desires down before God and not let them become controlling. I've been learning to keep returning all of the things God gives me to Him, and also learning to rise again after I fall and mess up. When you sin, don't fall into a pit of despair. It is right to feel grief over your sin, but don't wallow in it. Repent and keep going on to do what's right. Thankfully, God is SO merciful and good as I go through the process of learning these things!

"For the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity." Proverbs 24:16, ESV

Thanks for taking the time to read! God bless you all; have a great Christmas!

"I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now." Philippians 1:3-5, ESV