"God, I can't do that again! I just can't!!" I bawled. "I wish I could just erase this day from history."
It had been an awful day. From the time I got up, things weren't going as I had planned. Everything, even the most trivial inconveniences, seemed overwhelmingly difficult. I cried, and then prayed, and got my emotions straightened out. Diligently, I tried to keep my emotions tamed and work on my school work. But, I ended up crying again, and the process started all over.
As the day continued, I eventually got my strength and joy back. Later on, I went to play practice, which I normally love. It started well. While we were working on our choreography, however, I started to get discouraged. I was the only girl (out of about 1o girls) who couldn't do my part correctly. Finally, I started to cry. Yup, I cried. Right there, in front of everyone, I started sobbing. To make things worse, just a few minutes later we were supposed to go on stage and practice with the rest of the cast. Trying to regain my composure, I went into the bathroom to see if my appearance made it obvious that I had been crying. Well, I looked okay, so when I felt ready I started to go out to the stage. I made it about halfway... and then started my ridiculous weeping all over again! I couldn't bear the thought of failing in front of everyone. Exhausted, I sat in a dark room and thought, prayed, and listened to music. Eventually, I went out and practiced with everyone. It was humiliating - everyone could see my tear-stained face.
After the practice, my mom came to pick me up. As soon as I sat down in the car, my emotions sprung up yet again. "Today was one of the worst days of my life!" I told her between sobs. She listened sympathetically as I recounted to her the traumatizing events of my day. When we arrived home, I sat in the car for a little while, praying. This is where the first line of this blog post fits in. I just wanted to disappear, and never have to face the mountain of fear and embarrassment that stood before me.
I went inside, got some supper, and flopped on the couch. Hoping for some spiritual encouragement, I started to watch, "Facing the Giants" (an AMAZING movie!). Wow! It was SO uplifting! God reminded me that He wants me to give my very best - for His glory. The only way to every be truly fulfilled is to be poured out for Jesus Christ. Whether I perform perfectly or completely fail, I need to give my very best and give Him praise. And, I can be triumphant! The greatest success I can ever have is to honor Him. He loves us so vastly... I don't ever have to be afraid of what anyone else thinks of me, and I don't have to be the best. All I have to do is give Him my very best. He's my audience, and He gives me the hope and courage to face tomorrow, whatever it may hold.
"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6-7
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Though none go with me
I've been reading The Chronicles of Narnia recently, which I had never read before, and I am amazed at how spiritually beneficial they are! I had seen the movies plenty of times before, and there is some spiritual analogy in them, but not nearly as much as the books.
I just finished reading Prince Caspian - the second book of the series. At one point in the book, Lucy finally meets up with Aslan (who represents God). The conversation that follows goes like this:
"Welcome, child," He said.
"Aslan," said Lucy, "you're bigger."
"That is because you are older, little one," answered he.
"Not because you are?"
"I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger."
I love that! There are times in our life when God seems big to us, and times when He seems small. But is He the one changing? No! God is always the same, infinitely awesome God. But as we grow, we get a bigger glimpse of just how awesome He is.
As her conversation with Aslan continues, she tells him about how she saw him earlier, and knew it was him, but the reason she didn't follow him was because no one else believed that it was him and they all went the other direction. She felt like the only thing she could do was go along with the others, even though Alsan wanted them to follow him. But then she realizes (with Alsan's help) that she should have followed him, even if she had to do it alone. Aslan tells her that she must go and tell the others that she had seen him, and tell them to follow him with her. But if they wouldn't follow, she must follow him alone.
Wow, what an amazing analogy that is! Often, God shows Himself to us, and asks us to follow Him. We get excited and tell other people, (as Lucy did) but when they don't believe us and scorn what we have to say, we give up and decide to follow them. God wants us to follow Him, even if no one else is. We are never alone, because He is with us. And in the end, if we follow Him, we find out (as Lucy did, but it would take too long to quote the whole episode) that following Him is the only safe thing to do, and it leads to victory!
Every day I must make the choice to follow Him, through dark and seemingly dangerous paths and unknown territory, even if it means being abandoned and mocked by everyone. His path is not always the easiest, but it is the only one that lead to life!
I just finished reading Prince Caspian - the second book of the series. At one point in the book, Lucy finally meets up with Aslan (who represents God). The conversation that follows goes like this:
"Welcome, child," He said.
"Aslan," said Lucy, "you're bigger."
"That is because you are older, little one," answered he.
"Not because you are?"
"I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger."
I love that! There are times in our life when God seems big to us, and times when He seems small. But is He the one changing? No! God is always the same, infinitely awesome God. But as we grow, we get a bigger glimpse of just how awesome He is.
As her conversation with Aslan continues, she tells him about how she saw him earlier, and knew it was him, but the reason she didn't follow him was because no one else believed that it was him and they all went the other direction. She felt like the only thing she could do was go along with the others, even though Alsan wanted them to follow him. But then she realizes (with Alsan's help) that she should have followed him, even if she had to do it alone. Aslan tells her that she must go and tell the others that she had seen him, and tell them to follow him with her. But if they wouldn't follow, she must follow him alone.
Wow, what an amazing analogy that is! Often, God shows Himself to us, and asks us to follow Him. We get excited and tell other people, (as Lucy did) but when they don't believe us and scorn what we have to say, we give up and decide to follow them. God wants us to follow Him, even if no one else is. We are never alone, because He is with us. And in the end, if we follow Him, we find out (as Lucy did, but it would take too long to quote the whole episode) that following Him is the only safe thing to do, and it leads to victory!
Every day I must make the choice to follow Him, through dark and seemingly dangerous paths and unknown territory, even if it means being abandoned and mocked by everyone. His path is not always the easiest, but it is the only one that lead to life!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Busyness
Wow, my life has been busy lately! Between school, friends, music, and everything else, I hardly have a calm day! But it's wonderful... I've really enjoyed the busyness of the past few weeks.
One thing that is keeping me busy is: Practice for a musical! Yes, that's right, I get to be in "The Fiddler on the Roof" musical with a christian school nearby! I'm so excited. I don't have any lines; I'm a towns-person. I sing a lot of songs though, and I even have 3 words of a solo in one song! Haha. We have practices almost every day, and often I spend the evening with my best friend and her family afterward. It's so much fun!
I also am busy with schoolwork, church, youth group/youth events, and friends. Last Thursday and Friday I stayed at the home of a good friend who I hadn't seen in a long time, which was such a blessing! On Sunday I went to 2 youth group and 2 church services. It was very fun, very uplifting, and very tiring. ;)
Well, speaking of my busyness, I had better finish this post up because I've got a busy day today, too. Thanks for reading! :)
One thing that is keeping me busy is: Practice for a musical! Yes, that's right, I get to be in "The Fiddler on the Roof" musical with a christian school nearby! I'm so excited. I don't have any lines; I'm a towns-person. I sing a lot of songs though, and I even have 3 words of a solo in one song! Haha. We have practices almost every day, and often I spend the evening with my best friend and her family afterward. It's so much fun!
I also am busy with schoolwork, church, youth group/youth events, and friends. Last Thursday and Friday I stayed at the home of a good friend who I hadn't seen in a long time, which was such a blessing! On Sunday I went to 2 youth group and 2 church services. It was very fun, very uplifting, and very tiring. ;)
Well, speaking of my busyness, I had better finish this post up because I've got a busy day today, too. Thanks for reading! :)
Friday, January 14, 2011
Eric Ludy - Depraved Indifference
"Defend the poor and fatherless; Do justice to the afflicted and needy." Psalm 82:3
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
The True Gospel!
I have so much I could say right now, but yet I'm at a total loss for words. I will try to tell you a glimpse of the wonders God has been showing me.
Oh, He is so good! I am absolutely nothing. I am the worst of sinners, deserving eternal punishment in Hell. Yes it's true. There is no such thing as a small sin. One sin is enough to send me to hell, because it is a sin committed against an infinitely perfect God. But yet, He is glorified by showing unconditional love to me. How is that possible? How is it that God is able to "let me off the hook" for my sin, and still be perfect and just? It is only because Jesus Christ, who is God and is perfect, was crushed for me. He was separated from His Father, whom He had been in perfect unity with for all of eternity past. He endured all of the righteous anger of God that I deserved. For me! And now, when God looks at me, He sees the spotless holiness of Jesus Christ. It's not a hardship, a burden, or a difficulty for Him to love and forgive me. He doesn't sit in heaven and say, "Well, you're a stinking, filthy mess, but I promised to forgive you, so I guess I will, even though you disgust me." No! He is delighted to love me! He tells me, "Behold, you are fair, my love! Behold you are fair! You have dove's eyes." (Song of Solomon 1:15) That is God, the perfect, infinite Creator, speaking to me!
This, my friends, is the gospel. The gospel is not a magical prayer that you repeat to get a ticket to heaven. The gospel is that I am eternally sinful, and God is eternally holy. In order to be a good God, He must punish my sin. But He chose to humble Himself and take the punishment for me - God the Father crushed God the Son, and now salvation is offered to me freely. God called me, and I cried out to Him, repenting of my sin. In that moment, He transformed my heart and made a covenant to love me forever, unconditionally. The fruit of that salvation, the evidence that it is real, is that He teaches me, day by day, to be more like Him, and to live righteously. And it is so wonderful!
Is He your Lord? Has He transformed you, and changed you into a new creation? I hope, I pray that He will, if He has not. And Christian friends, don't grow weary! Remember His love, His sacrifice, His forgiveness. Rest in Him, and serve Him. He is worthy!
Oh, He is so good! I am absolutely nothing. I am the worst of sinners, deserving eternal punishment in Hell. Yes it's true. There is no such thing as a small sin. One sin is enough to send me to hell, because it is a sin committed against an infinitely perfect God. But yet, He is glorified by showing unconditional love to me. How is that possible? How is it that God is able to "let me off the hook" for my sin, and still be perfect and just? It is only because Jesus Christ, who is God and is perfect, was crushed for me. He was separated from His Father, whom He had been in perfect unity with for all of eternity past. He endured all of the righteous anger of God that I deserved. For me! And now, when God looks at me, He sees the spotless holiness of Jesus Christ. It's not a hardship, a burden, or a difficulty for Him to love and forgive me. He doesn't sit in heaven and say, "Well, you're a stinking, filthy mess, but I promised to forgive you, so I guess I will, even though you disgust me." No! He is delighted to love me! He tells me, "Behold, you are fair, my love! Behold you are fair! You have dove's eyes." (Song of Solomon 1:15) That is God, the perfect, infinite Creator, speaking to me!
This, my friends, is the gospel. The gospel is not a magical prayer that you repeat to get a ticket to heaven. The gospel is that I am eternally sinful, and God is eternally holy. In order to be a good God, He must punish my sin. But He chose to humble Himself and take the punishment for me - God the Father crushed God the Son, and now salvation is offered to me freely. God called me, and I cried out to Him, repenting of my sin. In that moment, He transformed my heart and made a covenant to love me forever, unconditionally. The fruit of that salvation, the evidence that it is real, is that He teaches me, day by day, to be more like Him, and to live righteously. And it is so wonderful!
Is He your Lord? Has He transformed you, and changed you into a new creation? I hope, I pray that He will, if He has not. And Christian friends, don't grow weary! Remember His love, His sacrifice, His forgiveness. Rest in Him, and serve Him. He is worthy!
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