This "Modesty" Thing.

Modesty. It's a word we all know. But there are so many different opinions about what it means and what exactly we have to do to be modest.

What do you think of when you hear the word modesty? The first thing that comes to my mind is wearing clothing that covers you appropriately. But that, in fact, is not the true meaning of the word.

By modern definition, modesty means:

mod·es·ty/ˈmädəstē/

Noun:

The quality or state of being unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one's abilities. The quality of being relatively moderate, limited, or small in amount, rate, or level.

Basically then, it means not being proud and conceited. Also, it means using moderation in what you do.

I also really love the Webster's 1828 definition:

MOD'ESTY, n. [L. modestia.] That lowly temper which accompanies a moderate estimate of one's own worth and importance. This temper when natural, springs in some measure from timidity, and in young and inexperienced persons, is allied to bashfulness and diffidence. In persons who have seen the world, and lost their natural timidity, modesty springs no less from principle than from feeling, and is manifested by retiring, unobtrusive manners, assuming less to itself than others are willing to yield, and conceding to others all due honor and respect, or even more than they expect or require.

2. Modesty, as an act or series of acts, consists in humble, unobtrusive deportment, as opposed to extreme boldness, forwardness, arrogance, presumption, audacity or impudence. Thus we say, the petitioner urged his claims with modesty; the speaker addressed the audience with modesty.

3. Moderation; decency.

4. In females, modesty has the like character as in males; but the word is used also as synonymous with chastity, or purity of manners. In this sense, modesty results from purity of mind, or from the fear of disgrace and ignominy fortified by education and principle. Unaffected modesty is the sweetest charm of female excellence, the richest gem in the diadem of their honor.

Wow, there's a lot there! From this definition we discover that modesty traditionally has meant (to sum up) humility and moderation. If that is the meaning, it applies to all of life - not just what we wear. We should be modest in our demeanor, and in the way we speak. Modesty is part of being a servant.

So how does this apply to our clothing? Well, if we have truly modest spirits, we will wear clothing that does not draw attention to us or our bodies. We will not wear a myriad of gaudy accessories, or flaunt of bodies with revealing clothing. We won't wear clothing that causes people to stop and stare. And, as the 1828 definition says, modesty also means chastity and purity of a woman. A modest woman won't wear - or do, or say, etc. - anything that is not chaste and pure, or that would compromise the purity of anyone else.

So now, what are some practical suggestions for how to do this? First of all, pray. Pray for God's help, pray that the Holy Spirit will teach you all things. (John 14:26) Only by Him is it possible to find out how we should live. (Eph. 5:9-10) Then, be willing to do what is best for others, not just what you (as a female who does not naturally know anything about the needs of men) think is right. If you have godly men in your family, ask them how you can dress in a way that would not cause men to stumble. Obey your parents. And if you don't have godly men to turn to, praise the Lord for the internet! =) We have some great online resources for finding out what is modest to men. Here is a link to a survey about modesty from over 1,600 Christian guys!

I hope this is helpful to you. Keep seeking God, and striving to serve Him and others in every way - including clothing!