Hope and Courage to Face Tomorrow

"God, I can't do that again! I just can't!!" I bawled. "I wish I could just erase this day from history."

It had been an awful day. From the time I got up, things weren't going as I had planned. Everything, even the most trivial inconveniences, seemed overwhelmingly difficult. I cried, and then prayed, and got my emotions straightened out. Diligently, I tried to keep my emotions tamed and work on my school work. But, I ended up crying again, and the process started all over.

As the day continued, I eventually got my strength and joy back. Later on, I went to play practice, which I normally love. It started well. While we were working on our choreography, however, I started to get discouraged. I was the only girl (out of about 1o girls) who couldn't do my part correctly. Finally, I started to cry. Yup, I cried. Right there, in front of everyone, I started sobbing. To make things worse, just a few minutes later we were supposed to go on stage and practice with the rest of the cast. Trying to regain my composure, I went into the bathroom to see if my appearance made it obvious that I had been crying. Well, I looked okay, so when I felt ready I started to go out to the stage. I made it about halfway... and then started my ridiculous weeping all over again! I couldn't bear the thought of failing in front of everyone. Exhausted, I sat in a dark room and thought, prayed, and listened to music. Eventually, I went out and practiced with everyone. It was humiliating - everyone could see my tear-stained face.

After the practice, my mom came to pick me up. As soon as I sat down in the car, my emotions sprung up yet again. "Today was one of the worst days of my life!" I told her between sobs. She listened sympathetically as I recounted to her the traumatizing events of my day. When we arrived home, I sat in the car for a little while, praying. This is where the first line of this blog post fits in. I just wanted to disappear, and never have to face the mountain of fear and embarrassment that stood before me.

I went inside, got some supper, and flopped on the couch. Hoping for some spiritual encouragement, I started to watch, "Facing the Giants" (an AMAZING movie!). Wow! It was SO uplifting! God reminded me that He wants me to give my very best - for His glory. The only way to every be truly fulfilled is to be poured out for Jesus Christ. Whether I perform perfectly or completely fail, I need to give my very best and give Him praise. And, I can be triumphant! The greatest success I can ever have is to honor Him. He loves us so vastly... I don't ever have to be afraid of what anyone else thinks of me, and I don't have to be the best. All I have to do is give Him my very best. He's my audience, and He gives me the hope and courage to face tomorrow, whatever it may hold.

"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6-7